It is probably the fate of ppl like me that, where a father rejects his son as an offspring and a person, for a safe anchor and harbour in life will never exist. When cut adrift emotionally and spiritually from an early age, its left to yourself to determine those anchors and safe harbours. Without moral or cultural references.
Ironically, being the spiritual yet searching vagrant that I am, my anchor is Barb. And I am and I am determined to be, until I draw my last breath, the anchor and safe harbour for my wife and my children. What I never had I am determined that my family will take for granted.